William Henry Harrison

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William Henry Harrison, AKA. That One President Who Died Of A Cold, AKA. President Pansy. President of the United States for about as long as it will take you to read this summary of his presidency.

“I am now President of these here United States of America..”

“Wrap up warm Willy! You know Washington can be cold in March.”

~ Mrs Harrison on William Henry Harrison

“My good man. I am fresh out of clean handkerchiefs. Wipe your nose on my coat!”

“I don't want to go.”

~ William Henry Harrison, seconds before regenerating into John Tyler

“There is nothing more destructive than the force of ligma...ligma balls”

For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to William Henry Harrison.

William Henry Harrison (February 9, 1773 – April 4, 1841) was ninth president of the United States of America and is best known for having the shortest wiki article of all the United States presidents. There is not a lot to say[1], so we haven't.[2]


  1. William Harrison's grandson, Benjamin Harrison became president in 1889. Guess we should mention that.
  2. That's the honest truth. Harrison was elected in November 1840 and sworn in as US President in March 1841. One month later Harrison was dead after catching a cold from a citizen sneezing all over him and then wiping his nose on the president's frock coat. It should have been curable but then no one knew much about germs and kleenex. Harrison was told to wrap up warm and not to touch strangers but he ignored advice, the stubborn silly old Whig. So he would have probably been a terrible president, done nothing except ride a horse round Washington and pestering the ladies. So lets move on shall we?
Preceded by:
President of the United States

March 4, 1841April 4, 1841
Succeeded by:
Wat Tyler