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Today's featured article Nobody cares is a policy employed by dictators, despots, democracy, the general public, and wiki administration. The school of thought began when somebody wanted something and nobody cared. This is thought to have occurred sometime between Ancient Mesopotamia and the Fall of Rome, so we'll say Ancient Greece. Nobody cares enough to find out for sure. Somebody probably started it, with authority probably, so let's say Zeus. He was the ultimate god and ruled over the people or something and then the people weren't happy. Zeus decided that nobody cared and screwed a goat. Then there was Rome and the Romans didn't like Christians. The Christians wanted to live, but nobody cared so they made them fight lions to the death. Then Rome fell and the people needed a stable existence, but nobody cared and the Dark Ages were born. Read more... Recently featured: Nike Revolution of 2006 - Alternative Medicine - The artist formerly known as God - I Fucking Hate the Bermuda Triangle - The Night After Christmas - North Korea - John Seigenthaler Sr. You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries April 25: National Morbid Obesity Appreciation Day 0 - The world's first April 25th is celebrated. Nostradamus predicts the world's first April 26th to occur a day later. He later predicts the birth of Jimbo Wales and the creation of Wikipedia, but no one believes him due to the idea of both being so stupid. 908 - A horde of plus-sized Vikings raid the east coast of Britain and set up a new IKEA store. 1301 - First known use of the phrase 'I don't give a shit' thought to have been said somewhere around London, England. 1607 - Dutch Commando Dykes led by Hans Solo destroy the anchored Spanish fleet. 1847 - The last survivors of the Donner Party are out of the wilderness. Shortly after, the first McDonners resturant opens. First item on the menu: McRibs. 1862 - The worlds first battery operated fork is created; two million die during its first use. 1915 - Australians invade Turkey, only to piss off next year. 1918 - Turks invade Australia, but stay permanently to drive taxis. 1950 - The Michelin Man is born. 1955 - The first McDonalds is opened. 1956 - Obesity is a recognized health problem. 1957 - Overweight Appreciation Day is upgraded to Morbid Obesity Appreciation Day, whilst Overweight Appreciation Day changes to 25th December. 1986 - First annual (and only) all-night Soviet Power Plant Workers' Tetris Competition is held. 1990 - Astronauts deploying the Hubble Space Telescope drop it on the way out the door, knocking it slightly out of focus. Archived Anniversaries	Today's word of the day is retro Try to use it in your conversations. Knowledge is power.
	edit In the news French guard Buckingham Palace (pictured) Congressman inadvertently uses hurtful slur, millions traumatized Royal shock as original photo discovered Biden v Trump rematch confirmed UK bans puberty for children Germany spills British military secrets Scientists meld nuclear fusion and AI Brits make book on King Charles cancer U.S. returns to the moon Miami aliens finger new Epstein clients Israel boasts of precision in bombings it didn't do Ukraine destroys large Russian warship, again GOP will have no candidates in 2024 Argentina goes off the deep end Beatles complete sequel trilogy More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that I don't know that you don't know that I don't know that you don't know nothing? Do you care... ... that you can't wear my sweatshirt? It's mine! Read More
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Writer and Noob of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners You only have 5 (Five) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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