Grand Admiral Thrawn

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Thrawn

Thrawn, with his villain moustache.

Gender: Male
Height: 6’2
Eyes: Red
Hair: Blue-Black
Species: Chiss
Occupation: Imperial Grand Admiral
Loyalty: The Chiss Ascendancy and only the Chiss Ascendancy
Weapon of Choice: Intellect, some Noghri dude who ends up killing him, a blaster pistol
Status: Dead, unless you listen to Disney, in which case he is alive
Created By: Timothy Zahn

The Creation of Thrawn[edit]

The character of Thrawn began when somebody realized that all imperials are dummer than doornobs. He made the character blue with red eyes because thats what he got when he rolled “Random Alien Features”. When deciding what made Thrawn original, he decided to go with ‘Supreme Intelligence Matched by no Other’. Next he decided to give Thrawn companions, because he was trying to think of any way possible to make a very un-imperial imperial. He gave Thrawn an ally named Dwayne “The Rukh” Johnson, who was a Noghri assassin. Then, once his character planning sheet was filled out, he began to write.

Legends Books[edit]

The Thrawn Trilogy[edit]

In Heir to the Empire, Thrawn has banished to the unknown regions of the galaxy because most of the Empire is racist against aliens, and the Thrawn comes back after the Empire is all but destroyed, because Timothy Zahn needed a good reason for him not to have killed all the rebels quickly and effiecently. Leading Gilad Pellaeon and the last of the Empire, Thrawn then went up against all the most popular favorite Star Wars heroes, such as Han Solo, Carrie Fisher, C-3PO, and, of course, their epic leader, Lobot. Thrawn grabs some Ysalamir, which are salamanders that can repel the force, making it so that force users can’t use the force. Even though the force is, y’know, the binding of all living things. He also manipulates insane evil clone Jorus C'Baoth, even though he is insane. And mentally unstable. And bipolar. And has extreme ADHD. And never brushes his teeth. But Thrawn is smart and that means he can manipulate people that don’t know what they want 40% of the time.

In the end of book, Thrawn outsmarted everyone, and took over an old Imperial storage facility, stealing a bunch of cloning tubes.

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Grand Admiral Thrawn.

In the second book, Dark Force Rising, Thrawn uses those cloning tubes to clone millions of soldiers quicker than should be possible using the Ysalamir even though that’s not how it works. Thrawn then begins to manipulate the New Rebublic, dividing them. Eventually Thrawn is racing the New Rebublic to get to the Katana Fleet, a huge group of warships floating in space. But Thrawn has manipulated them so well that they completely fail, and Lobot & Co. are the only ones there, and (understandably) are unable to pilot 10,000 space ships at once.

In the end of the book, Thrawn outsmarted everyone, and got hundreds of warships staffed by thousands of clones.

In the final book, The Last Command, Thrawn locks down the New Rebublic, while Carrie Fisher goes and tells Noghri that they have been manipulated. Meanwhile, Jorus C’Baoth begins to manipulate Thrawn by mind tricking Gilad Pellaeon. Eventually, the Lobot & Co. go to fight Jorus. However, it turns out that to fight them, he made a clone of Luke Skywalker (The lamest character in the group), and named him Luuke Skywalker. After Luke is killed by Mara Jade, they all go home to party, not realizing that Luke was killed and has been replaced by Luuke. Meanwhile, Thrawn is killed by his bodyguard, Dwayne “The Rukh” Johnson, who somehow got word that he was getting manipulated by Thrawn. Then he killed Thrawn, because Timothy Zahn didn’t know how to kill an omnisentient character.

The Hand Of Thrawn[edit]

The Hand of Thrawn was a dualogy that served as a sequal to the Thrawn Trilogy, the last Star Wars book published by Bantha Spectrum before the license for publishing Star Wars books was turned over to Del Rey, and a money grab. The book was sold under the pretense that Thrawn would apear, and the closest to that that happend was Luuke Skywalker ruthlessly killed a helpless clone of Thrawn in the second book.

Disney Version[edit]

The Disney version of the character is different in many ways. For one thing, Disney Thrawn has no flaws at all, much like every other character to appear in the new Disney Star Wars, but every single surrounding Imperial character is a complete and total idiot. This is due to the fact that Star Wars Rebels, a show made by the same guy who made Star Wars: Clone Wars, but somehow made Rebels a thousand times worse. In rebels the character has pupils, weird eyebrow things on his forehead, and a grudge against the main rebels of the series.

Disney Thrawn books[edit]

After Disney took over Star Wars and changed the entire EU to become non-cannon, Thrawn was not in the Star Wars universe anymore. However, Disney knew that Thrawn had money to be made from him, so they brought him back in a bad TV show. However, Timothy Zahn was locked in a dungeon and forced to make a books about Thrawn. the first one, called Thrawn, (which is just as imaginative of a title as every other Star Wars origin story) the Empire was racist to Thrawn because he was blue.

Variant cover of Thrawn issue #2 of 6

This continues even when he proves to be better than all of them, 12 times in a row. He also recruits Eli Vanto as his translator (Since Thrawn can’t speak basic very well), and sidekick. Throughout the book, Thrawn’s genius rubs off on Eli. In the end of the novel, Thrawn suggest that Eli join the Chiss Ascendancy, and sends him to the one of his old Chiss friends. We are not told what happens next, but can assume that Eli suffers the same horrible racsism in the Chiss Ascendancy as Thrawn did in the Empire. Thrawn was also available in a collection of comic books, as Disney wanted to be able to sell Thrawn in any way possible.

In the book Thrawn: Alliances, Emperor Palpatine sends Thrawn and Vader on a mission. They are both seen as equals in the story, but obvious are not, as only Vader has been on the big screen. Throughout the book, Thrawn is teased by Darth Vader for getting beaten by the rebels, despite the fact the Vader just gave up after a two seasons, as the storyliners were too lazy to think up reason, and besides, by this point nobody above the age of 9 enjoyed the show anyway.

Thrawn in Rebels[edit]

In the show Star Wars: Rebels, the writers were lazy and unimaginative. Because of this, they needed a way to get more people to watch the show. First they got Darth Vader. When everybody hated how stupid it was that Darth Vader was called in to deal with six rebels, they instead called in Thrawn, not even trying to explain why Darth Vader left. Thrawn, too had a stupidly hard time defeating literally six people. The writers tried to mostly blaim it on Thrawn’s underlings. Eventually, the Rebels defeat Thrawn by shooting him of into space using space whales that can go to hyperspace. And, yes that entire sentence, particularly the space whales, is completely impossible.