“And people think my art is weird?”
DeviantArt (deviantART from 7 August 2000 to 3 December 2014)
is was an art site produced by Scott Jarkoff, Matthew Stephens and Angelo Sotira, until a 2008 invasion of horny teenage Japanophiles took the site by storm, then proceeded to rebuild by flooding the power vacuum with bad literature and crude MS Paint erotica. Previous attempts by militant groups such as Wiccans, Emos and Goths had seen temporary successes but slightly-above-average-teen-artists had managed to survive in the surrounding wastelands, lapping up the false compliments from old men masquerading as young teens or happily deleting comments they didn't like. This is, as Google's Larry Page once put it, "one of the horrors of the Internet. What have I done... *BANG*"
In its younger days, DeviantArt was the platform that many a young artist would use to launch an illustrious career in the fine art world. Village-renowned artists such as Jason Bloomsbury went on to the heights of exhibitions held at their local coffee shop or even Mom's Hair Salon®, with credited works selling at up to an incredible $3! Recent published site data reports the following site demographics:
- 10% of all accounts were created in order to requisition other people's art for important purposes such as mutual appreciation, be it in private or display in other locations.
- 60% of people are Japanophiles. This demographic is further divided in populations that hold certain aspects of Japanese Culture to be most important for the future of mankind: 20% are Traditionalist Historians, choosing very specific subject matter to be historical about. 20% are Japanese Feminist Art Critics, who are five times more enthusiastic about their subject matter than Traditionalist Historians, and Animal Lovers who occupy a further 20% of all DeviantArt memberships. Their preferred artistic scenes will include combinations of sacred Japanese animals and historical figures, most notably, draw Sonic OCs, Eevees, Ninetales, and wolves.
But they all have a common point; their lengthy and interesting debates are benefiting humanity as a whole.
Many a new member of DeviantArt started out in the small 10% group using the site for mutual appreciation purposes, but has been lured in by Intellectualism found within the commentry of other members. They tend to back away from the critiques and simply stand in quiet awe of the masterful work they encounter. It is then at this point they will feel the need to become more connected within the community by publishing their own works of art in the hopes of receiving the excellent and compelling council of an experienced critic. It is important to note that the rivalry between the various groups is a longstanding one and their commentary sparring of the pros and cons of the various facets of the Love of Japan are one of the joys of being part of this community. It is often said that never have such intellectually diverse and inspiring debates arisen since the days of the Jerry Springer show and Yesterday on the School Playground.
The remaining 29% of the members are perhaps the most hallowed of the DeviantArt community: The True Artists, who are considered to be the Gold Standard among contributors. 20% of this type come from the age-old tradition of "Guys posing as artists so chicks will get naked for them". Armed with nothing more than a disposable camera and a semen-stained backdrop, they use their raw talent and charm to entice young girls to "get 'em out" for them.
DeviantArt has rankings for its somewhat faithful members. These rankings most often depend on whether you pay the admins tax or not. Usually the * and = members are the top of the tier, and the admins will not even care about the reports that you made against them, even when it comes to furries with humongous vaginas, and this may even get you banned with a "!".
The ~ is the average "Deviant" (Deviant means "carnivorous mammal or fish"), these are the ordinary citizens of DeviantArt, the hopeless citizens to the admins' Superman. These are very normal — in the loosest definition of the word — in that they are usually mindless fantards rather than artists. The *, on the opposite end of the spectrum, is the premium member. These people are the children of the admins and the admins will protect them at all costs. They also have extra
superpowers advantages, such as visitor's check and protection grants from admins. There are also beta testers, also known as =, who test new functions.
Similar to the beta testers are the $, the paid staff (hence the dollar sign, comrade), those who sit around and watch the borderline torture porn others have drawn, and, finally, the godforsaken ! — the banned. These are the sinners of DeviantArt, although technically joining DeviantArt is a sin anyway. These cursed souls include demons, Anonymous members, pagans and people that post condoms. And, of course, the sorry idiots that have a grudge against admins. Having an argument against the * and = ranked members will cause you to get this rank too. Once you get promoted as a ! rated deviant, you can never turn back. The admins pursue banned users and never give them any chance to escape from their sins. As one * Deviant once said, "Tough shit!".
In light of recent events, DeviantArt's founders have done their best to clean up the site, but a consistent population of dumb and perverted fiends across DeviantArt guarantee that her image is permanently stained.
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