Babel:W2
- 2 CE - World's first homosexual celebrates his 40th birthday by helping create The Church of Tyra.
- 1032 - In England, first 'Knocke, Knocke: whoeth art there?' joke performed in public.
- 1895 - Oscar Wilde is sent to prison, then released when the hamster does not press charges.
- 1931 - Jesus Christ considers starting the Second Coming; he decides he'd rather get Taco Bell and watch porn.
- 1936 - Freddy Krueger kills himself in his own dreams accidentally. He reincarnates the same day for no reason as Walt Disney.
- 1937 - J.R.R Tolkien commences work on the majestic The Matrix: Revolutions.
- 1947 - Mexico Space Program launches its first rocket powered by jumping beans. (pictured)
- 1955 - J. Edgar Hoover wins the New York Marathon dressed in a tutu.
- 1963 - The Beatles kick Joseph Stalin out of the band. He quickly composes Back in the USSR as a mild revenge.
- 1969 - Hippies collect signatures to forbid showers. 'They are so concentration camp' is their argument.
- 1974 - Jimi Hendrix makes love to his guitar on stage. He is promptly taken to a hospital where he dies of severe penis shredding.
- 1985 - Ronald Reagan sets a new high score for Pac-Man, humiliating former champion Mikhail Gorbachev.
- 2006 - Midsomer Village now has NO MORE PEOPLE TO MURDER.
- 2006 - The Vatican, Luxembourg, Malta and Fiji form the Small Countries Alliance – the most dangerous set of allies since the Axis. Together, they have a total population of 800 and double that in nuclear bombs.
- 2018 - Uncyclopedians emerge from their bomb shelters and begin building time machines. An overlong lunch break, nap and hand-waving sets the project schedule back, as future Uncyclopedians arriving in their time machines find to their disgust.
Kristi Noem (pictured) | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism | UnTunes:I'm Just Ten | Taylor Swift | Praey for the gods | Henry Kissinger | Sandra Day O'Connor | Battle for Dream Island | Rastadon | Quintana Roo | Digestive system | The Sims 4 | Ahsoka (TV series) | King Charles II | The Man from U.N.C.L.E. | Antimony | William Pitt the Elder
May 27, 2024
Okay guys, today you get the usual bidaily update of the featured article. Here comes the synopsis!
Today's featured article – Rastadon
The Rastadon (Mamut rastadonis) is a mammalian species often confused with the more common Mastodon. The Rastadon was more intelligent, had a more complex social structure, and showed many other attributes usually associated with humanity, such as their own religion and communual smoking. The species now has only one living member and will go extinct when he rolls up his last reefer.
The Rastadon was discovered on February 3, 2007, by one Dr. Professor Ima Walrus, who got his Ph.D. in Zoology at Gotham University, as well as Tom Freebird, who had a B.A. in Sociology, and a minor in Taylor Swift, from Michigan Tech. Their historic discovery was found fifty miles north of Rastos, Nebraska. To date, only one skeleton of a Rastadon has ever been found, where it is currently still in active use. After many tests, Dr. Professor Walrus and Mr. Freebird found that the Rastadon's turn-offs included tobacco cigarettes, uniforms, sirens, and corporate life. Whereas its turn-ons included: pistachio ice cream, herbal medicine, large hollow plastic figurines with pipes sticking out of them, and snack foods. (more...)
Previously featured article – The Addams Family
The Addams Family is an American family best-known for producing an excessive number of U.S. Presidents. The Roosevelts are in a tie, but not in such short order; so too would be the Clintons, except for certain "deplorable" voters. The Kennedys showed comparable potential, except that various assassins showed more. (more...)
As usual, you can vote for the featured article at Uncyclopedia 2.0:VFH, and don't forget to visit the archive! Rc out.
May 27, 2024
- ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
- ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
- ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
- ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
- ... that Anonymous has written over 4,323,904,528 poems and 23,900,241 short stories, among a million other kinds of written word?
And some others, in case you missed them...
May 27, 2024
One more image added to the collection. The list rotates randomly, so try reloading the page to see others...
LEGOGiraffeCull.jpg
LEGOGiraffeCull.jpg - 6 total votes ( 6 / 0 ) |
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Lego Noir Image credit: ScottPat |
Or if you're so impatient, see Template 2.0:FI/all for all currently featured images. This creap of the crop may be less AJAXy than Flickr, but way less crappy.
May 27, 2024
Congratulations for May's Writer and Noob of the Month!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
Now you only have 4, yes 4 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!