| This Article is haunted by spirits from another world.|
A human sacrifice is needed to view it properly.
Galaxy Angel is a comically oriented, true-to-life anime about the life of a girl named Milfeulle Sakuraba and the other
retards weirdos members in the Angel Unit. The show is about 5 ordinary girls that have been booted into commission into the Transvaal Military in the angel unit, lead by middle-aged, overworked, underpaid, seemingly incompetent yet caring, possibly homosexual, power-hungry leader, Colonel Huey Volcott, wherein their mission is to find and obtain -at all costs- the Lost Technology that Einstein XII has invented 200 years ago with the implication that his works like the "Rice cooker that cooks anything -including humans" or the giant "Planetary Nail" made along with the giant "Planetary Hammer" and who could forget the "Planet Destroying Gumball"! Such ingenious works that has helped humanity rise in power for the next 200 years. Along the way, they meet more retards weirdos morons friends along the way, like the friendly kung-fu Squid, the friendly kung-fu Turtle, and the friendly kung-fu Spider-Man.
Galaxy Angel is the only anime which follows an incredibly prepared storyline that is of course prepared by only the best writers of the field. The story starts with a missing cat, which the unit has to find or Colonel Volcott gets a boot to the crotch, a hiking boot that is, commonly referred to as cleats, a shoe with spikes, you freakin' moron! And the Unit finds Milfeulle doing her job, still entertaining a guest when they see the dog grab on to her legs and the Mafia just starts capping ass for no obvious reason (deeper reason explained later). Thy escape the crossfire with only Mint suffering a buckshot to the head when Milfeulle's incredible luck sparks and Free Willy jumps in and takes all the bullets and saved their lives. Milfeulle then joins the Angel Unit and then random missions follow, like finding lost technology off of the ass of Homer Simpson, one which looks like an anal probe.
"Of course the show has characters!"
That's what they want you to think.
Milfeulle Sakuraba, A jolly, carefree,
stupid retarded moronic ignorant let's just go with carefree... Member in the Angel Unit. She was originally just a waitress in the Joe's All-You-Can-Gobble Restaurant by the seaside when Forte Stollen and Ranpha Franboise came into her life riding a cherry red, high octane, low-rider chasing a Lost Technology that was stolen by the "The Three Main Villains". She loves cooking, she gets to cook in almost every episode in the show, she lives for cooking, she died for cooking, she will live again for cooking. She represents the cutesy side of this otherwise boring serious storyline. Being second-to-the-youngest in the team and voted "Least probable to get a Nobel" in the team, she appeals to the fans most as she brings spice to the story, as most of the stories actually begin with her messing around with either the Lost Technologies or one of her teammates, she appeals most to the fans, making her the most popular character in the series.
Milfeulle Sakuraba also enjoys an amazing amount of luck, once scoring a date with Tom Cruise with a side-trip to Mr.T's mansion. Again and again, her luck provides incredible advantages to the team but her utter
dim-wittedness idiocy gets her and her teammates into a larger disadvantage than her luck can get them into an advantage...
One last thing to know about her is that she loves doing drugs. Crack, Pof, Weed, you name it, she has it. Only Vanilla seems to not know about this as the other members of the Angel Unit (or the other characters for that matter) are certainly doing large amounts of crack a day.
Ranpha Franboise, A boy-hunter wearing a semi-traditional Chinese get up paired with the semi-standard Angel Unit Uniforms. She is the "beautiful girl" of the group which means you'd most likely see her in front of a mirror
or a boy than in a mission. This "vain" attitude of her and her position in the group as hot-chick gives her a large fan base consisting of handsome boys, her fellow "chick" types and the majority, the large population of geeks and nerds which have no actual chance of scoring anyone like her at all that givs her a large advantage compared to the other characters, thus, she is undoubtedly crowned as the most popular character in the series. Though she rarely takes her job somewhat seriously. She has a deep Love for the insanely rich Mint Blancmanche, another member of the group, calling her as "The rabbit ear girl"... or "Yoda" but mostly... Yoda.
Her crowning ability is her kung-fu ability, one to par with Jackie Chan, which gets her in and out of crappy situations like bar brawls and going to the market in her skimpy outfit, and skimpier attitude. In addition to her previous award, she was also given the "Most Probable to get an Ass-Kicking" when she first joined the group, but she proved the others wrong as she gets to make Mick Foley cry in one of the episodes.
Forte Stollen is the eldest of the group, aging in her mid-20's. Because of her age comparison with the other members, she hijacks the team leader position, but this does not go unrewarded, also due to this, she is often called Ancient, Old Hag or Yoda. Due also to her age, she has becom an inspiration to elderly worldwide, giving them hope of staying alive, whenever they see Forte still being alive in each episode.
Along with her age, she has an addiction with guns, giving her a distinct advantage with gun
addicts sympathizers everywhere, plus the partizans of Osama Bin Laden, which consider her an idol of gun handling and use her technique of going crazy with an automatic when under extremely have suppressive fire. With such a large fanbase that is variably increasing and decreasing everyday, she has been , without the shadow of a doubt, crowned officially by the Al-Qaeda the title: most popular character in the series, the series of course refferring to Galaxy Angel, and Al-Jazeera, as a bonus.
In the closing of the year 2005, she was elected by the Addictive Developmental Internet Society (AIDS) as "Least likely to be married before the age of 26". But then, it was because she wore a T-Shirt when she attended that meeting, a few days after, when the officials came to the Angel Base and saw her in uniform, they quickly decide to not give her that award but instead, they gave the award, "Largest set of knockers in anime history", as well as the "Almost likely to be married before the age of 26" awards.
A few weeks after she won the said awards, her ratings skyrockted and she single-handedly overthrew the opposition, winning the most popular character of the series award for 11 more times until the release of Gundam Seed, and there is when she lost the "Largest set of knockers in anime history" award.
Mint Blamanche is the spoiled, rich, rabbit-eared, spoiled, masochistic, homicidal,
partly retarded, spoiled, irritating and spoiled daughter and seemingly only heir to the Blancmanche family wealth. She is very much addicted to Kigurumi's(Costumes) to hell. she once asked Satan to buy her one but instead, she ended up with a deal to sell Vanilla's soul to him in exchange for the Kigurumi of an ear of corn.
She like Milfeulle loves to pop the pills. She, unlike Milfeulle likes to be more discrete and calls them "Jelly Beans", because of her obsssion, you can usually see her snapping other people's heads for her pills. Recently, she's been trying (in vain) to stop the addiction, but alas, she could not resist the calling of Satan:
“Do me! Do me!”
She on the other hand shares techie-whiz skills which she often uses to
find lost technology spy on her teammates whil they're in the shower and spread the images through the internet. She also uss it to create Kigurumi's of her own, like the Robo-gan Kigurumi which, with popular controversy, was actually the inspiration of Yoshiyuki Tomino to create the Gundam series.
Her wealth, sassy nature and wealth gave her a large fanbase all over the world, including the nobles of France and the numerous relatives of Bill Gates, which she was one of. She was actually the second niece-in-law of Bill Gates.
With this incredible amout of resources, she easily manipulated the other members' fanbases to shift to her cause, thus, in a landslide decision, she is crowned most popular character in the series.
She is teased many times in her team as the smallest in the group, being called names like dwarf, Thumbellina, Shortcake, changing her hometown to "Smallville", Not letting her watch the movie: "Walking Tall", forcing her to eat shrimp, making her put on her little red riding hood costume, and being called Yoda. In addition to her size, her weird rabbit ears receive punishment too as she is called Bugs Bunny or Yoda.
Vanilla H. ,The only mild-mannered member of the Galaxy Angel Unit is actually a hired robot assassin programmed to show no actual signs of emotion and installed is a very out-dated language pack containing quotes and single-word-sentences. "She" although has human-like animation programming, letting her pilot, drive and walk (barely) like a human. Her main oprationg system though, was corrupted by the Lost Technology, "Normad". From the point where Normad first insertd his virus upon Vanilla's core systems, it was already too late as she has fallen to be just a zombie, under the control of Normad, as time passed though, her operating system adapted to system corruption and gained actual motor skills and advanced verbal packs, obtained from the memory banks of Normad.
She has then learned to move according to her own will, approaching to humanly religion while her database is rebooting. She has then chased the path of her own choosing, variably switching from her original programming of being a cyborg assassin, to being a comedian and a worshipper.
Her silence has given the Monks all over the galaxy a new idol of faith and devotion. They prayed that she get the most popular character in the series award, and lo, she did. With the help of the great motor companies of today like Toyota and Honda, which have since then attached voting fliers for Vanilla onto their finished cars, as a sign of support for their machine goddess...
Her Angel Frame is called the Harvester.
Colonel Huey Volcott
Colonel Huey Vollcott is the father-figure of the Angel Unit. Although he is very dedicated in his job, he almost always find ways to get it worng, or if not, his team does, but then, they're
all incompetent only human. He cares very much about his beloved Angel Unit as he believes that they are the only ones that can possibly give him the beautiful retirement that he has longed for. While the unit is dipatched for a mission, he finds several ways of entertaining himself through tv or videos of his troop(in desperate times).
He is eldest in the series with the exception of those episodes that the team visits older
, dying men. He is so old, Forte Stollen can be his granddaughter.
Colonel Volcott is very much addicted to his moustache. He'd die fighting for the honor of his moustache, he'd go in a rap battle withEminem for his moustache, he sleeps, he breathes, he combs, he shampoos moustache. He'd kill the whole Angel Unit for his moustache. He'd sell his soul to Satan only if he'd keep his moustache. He'd shake hands with Osama and spend the night with him for his moustache, for him, his moustache is the most divine thing in the world!!! but it's not really anything that great...
A piece of Lost Technology originally installed in an old model ICBM with an inscription on the side:
Made in North Korea
From the day the Angel Unit found him/it, he/it has already started to like the "one decent member of the Angel Unit", Vanilla H. Right from the start though, he's had two shots to the head from Forte and got walked all over by the other members of the Angel Unit. This made Normad mad... really mad. He then asked the help of R2D2 and called a hit on Forte's head for the Mafia. He then tried to kill the other members but was stabbed by a stake while he was recharging beside Vanilla. This caused a nuclear meltdown that wiped out most of the people in Transvaal as the blame was placed on some random girl that the army picked up from the streets named Rebecca. Having found out, though that Forte has the help of the Yakuza, he denied any linking between him and the Mafia and his plot of revnge was foiled.
Suffering a humiliating defeat, Normad has decide that he will live peacefully in the arms of his Zombie, Vanilla.
Introduced as a dying not-so-important terminally ill young girl who is about to die. Chitose Karasuma is a hopeless, friendless, senseless girl who is a companion-junkie. Since the first time she met the Angel Unit, she has already started to kiss everyone's ass, taking lessons from Michael Jackson and taking a beating from Mr.T. She did not find a friend there that would actually want to befriend her back, and turning to the clueless Milfeulle just endagered her life, getting her run over by a truck, then a train, not before she fell into a vat of boiling goo, and after so, she was ejected into space.
Chitose swore then that she will get the Angel Unit back for what they did to her, unfortunately, Mint heard her plans and hit her so hard with a fire extinguisher, she was concussed for three days after and was put on life support, but the important thing is, that she forgot her plans... Or where she hid them.
Being sick is not an easy thing, and being beat up by Mr.T and live isn't either, thus she is looked up to by the sickly people everywhere and Satan is looking up her name somewhere... Due to the increasing amount of sick people, and the delay of her death because Satan forgot Death's number and forgot as well where he put her name and address. She then won the most popular character in the series award, a sign of her determination, and other people's pity, as well as Mr.T's.
After her success as a sickly person, she was released from the hospital, with the reson that she's "Okay" but actually, the hospital released her because there was nothing else they could do, so she joined up with the Angel Unit, where she was being treated as a placemat, because she was exceptionally flat. She was then released from the Angel Unit for being irritable and moving too much, causing the food they prepared to be spilled... what a waste... of food... She then was signed to the Twin Star Unit, with co-members Malib and Cocomo Peirot, and their Commander, Major Merly.
Cocomo and Malibu Peirot
Cocomo Peirot and his twin brother Malibu Peirot form the Twin Star Unit. Cocomo <Ko-ko-mo> is the brawn without brains of the unit, much like Mike Tyson, which do the bulk of the work on his own. Malibu <Ma-lee-bu> is the smarts of the group, trustworthy, smart, maniacal, just like Bill Gates. Thse two are the close quarters competition of the Angel Unit, which are highly incompetent. Lead by Major Merly, this unit succees at everything the Angel Unit fails that well... just means everything... except the amount of spam mail that Ranpha can write in a minute compared to the twins combined. This team is also unbeatable at sack races, and parfait eating contests, credits to Cocomo.
They don't control any Angel Frames before Chitose joined the Unit, in which case, they accidentally blew it up, thinking it was one of the Angel Unit's Angel Frames, while Chitose was still inside it, eating some Cheetos she stole from the storage cabin, but she's alright now.
Also, it was explained that Cocomo was actually Malibu's twin sister... nothing much... just saying... Makes you wonder why they sleep in the same bed? Me? Nah... *Shifty Eyes*
But as we all know, "Controversy Creates Cash", but in this case, Controversy creates a double tie as most popular character in the series.
Major Mary is the babysitter of the Twin Star Unit, most likely, Cocomo. Major Mary is the stern, firm chested boss around the Twin Star Unit Quarters but Cocomo always finds ways to get away from the evil, firm menace, just to feed his inceasable ego and stomach.
Archrival of Colonel Volcott, she always takes the opportunity to insult Commander Volcott about his squad and occasionally about his moustache.
Being the babysitter for two young boys (or 1 boy and a lesbian girl) thus her extreme efforts were unrewarded. fans have come to be subjugated by her and she won the most popular character in the series award.
The Three Main Villains
There are actually many sets of Three Main Villains, which compose of the three indicated variables which are constant.
let G = One of the villains G1 = Cool + Smart-12 G2 = Fat + Smart-18 G3 = Wierd + Smart +- 0 There are times though that the villains are masked behind cat masks, thus Cat Villain Chance = G1 + G2 + G3 / 3 * 75 Thus, Villains = G1 + G2 + G3 / Cat Villain Chance
The tasks of these villains are usually the same, peeping into the shower to take pictures and spread black propaganda, and to kill, maim, destroy, decapitate, incinerate, annihilate, bludgeon, saw-off, stake, hit-with-a-blunt-object-like-Mike-Tyson, infect, disinfect, injure, crush, torture, hit, torment, demolish, spit on, make-a-gory-mess, make bleed, shotgun, drive-by, headshot, rape, or any combination of the 26, the Angel Unit and all associated to them.
Of course, no good tv show will ever go on without Three main Villains from time to time... Wait... They can...? Oh... ... uhm... well... uhh... duh, err.... well... you see... uhh... Huh? What's that? Uhuh... hmm... Oh... They can't? YES!! they can't! thus The Three Main Villains are awarded with a part of the most popular character in the series award each!! Applause.
"Why yes, it does have seasons" - The System
Galaxy Angel / Season 1
This season follows the story of Milfeulle Sakuraba's adventure to stay alive in her work at a Restaurant/Bar/Motel. Here she first meets the Angel Unit and reveals her amazing luck with men and nature alike. Here, they also get to meet Normad, Lost Technology in a half cat, half penguin, half racoon, 100% starcrap.
Galaxy Angel Z / Season 2
In this season, the Twin Star Unit is introduced.... ... ... ... ... ... .... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... .... .... ... .. . . . ... . . .... ... .... . . .. . . ....... . .. .... ... . ... . ... ... ... .. ... .. . .... . ..... . . ... . . . . . . . . . . ... ... . .... ... .... .... .... .. .. .... ....... . . . ... . .. . . . . ............... . .. .. . . . . .... . . .. .. .. . . . . . ... . .. . . Well, that's all there is to it.
Galaxy Angel A, AA , S / Season 3 Part 1 , Part 2, Part 3
The Longest running season in the wholse series, it packs one special "Final Episode" that is in no way connected with the other episodes of the show at all.
Gackt stars in one of the episodes here where he voices a stalker which gets to rape each and everyone of the angel unit but then dies after he does Forte. At the end of the sequence, a live-shot scene is shown with Gackt frantically waking up, horrified that he just raped a hundred year old fossil, and paid for it.
Galaxy Angel X / Season 4
This is the season where Chitose was introduced, and the storyline follows Chitose's revolving path of failed attempts of poorly prepared revenge plots. Chitose ends here. Cool...
Here was also the season when Adam Sandler was officially announced as a member of the cast, but was fired the day after.
Also, the last episode featured another scene wherein Vincent Valentine would be shown staring out of the window, seemingly thinking... saying the words...
“Galaxy Angel... that would be so cool...”
Thus he produced the first episode of Galaxy Angel and it was a hit and won the T-bag award.
WTF are Angel Frames!?
Angel frames are the high-class ships known to be exclusively used by the Angel Unit. These ships are so advanced that it leaves behind the latest of the era's warships. These Angel Frames run on the milage of of 20 Liters of Premium Gasoline per 110,000 miles, not a good one when travelling inter-galaxy. What's worse is that when the Angel Frames execute hyperspace, it indiscriminately takes half of the fuel left. It is also equipped with the HALO system which makes the aim of the ship into direct first person view, allowing the pilot to pick up weapons and attack with the X button.
|-------------------------| | |\ | | | \ | | | / | | |/ | | | | | ___________ | | \ 0 0 0 0 / | | --------- | |-------------------------| One of the models of the Tranvsvaal warships
Official Character Death Toll
Here is the official count of the number of times each characer died in the story whole series.
| Chitose's Death Toll|
11, through being run over. 3, being shot and 4 being shot into space.
| Milfeulle's Death Toll|
21, overdose. 6, being crushed. 11, shot. 2, exploded. 1, excorsized and 8 from falling at great heights.
| Mint's Death Toll|
3, being sucked into space and 1 from instant transfer from life to death.
| Ranpha's Death Toll|
1, beat to death. 3 heart attack and another from instant transfer from life to death.
| Forte's Death Toll|
9, shot. 3, exploded. 4,blunt force trauma and 6 from not waking up from her nightmares.
| Vanilla's Death Toll|
34, all from instant transfer from life to death.
| Villain Death Toll|
About 126 were counted from a variety of painful deaths.
| Adam Sandler's Death Toll|
1 shot to the crotch.
- Vanilla is actually related to Frankenstein, that headband on her head actually covers stitches.
- Milfeulle is only 16 !!
- Mint sold her house to Satan for "Jelly Beans"
- Forte never actually fired her gun in the final episode of Galaxy Angel X, Chitose had a heart attack when she found out her gun wasn't loaded.
- Galaxy Angel XX will "reveal" new scenes never before seen in Galaxy Angel.
- Galaxy Angel XXX is finished but XX isn't, thus the release date is postponed.
- Ranpha is actually wearing a corset, her workout doesn't work anymore because of the newly established Burger King beside their base.
- Colonel Volcott indulges in gay practices.
- Led Zeppelin owns your soul!
- Cocomo and Malib have a relationship with Mint without each other knowing.
- Major Merly has a moustache too.
- Gackt is actually a 766 year old vampire! All Hail!
- Milfeulle stars in the upcoming movie, Saw 4.
- Mint and Chitose wear the same dress inside but with different sizes.
- Forte voiced over for Darth Vader in a scene of Star Wars episode V when Darth was choking on cotton candy.