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Today's featured article – The Addams Family

The Addams Family is an American family best-known for producing an excessive number of U.S. Presidents. The Roosevelts are in a tie, but not in such short order; so too would be the Clintons, except for certain "deplorable" voters. The Kennedys showed comparable potential, except that various assassins showed more.

John Addams was born on October 30, 1735 in Quincy, Massachusetts. However, creepily, he was not known as John Quincy Addams, as that would be the other one, who was not known as anything at the time. John was the son of a cordwainer, also named John and also not named Quincy. He was a Puritan, railing against libertinage and debauchery. And he was a Federalist. All pretty creepy, at least the archaic verbiage. (more...)

Recently featured:

Previously featured article – Finnish sauna

The Sauna (pronounced SOW-NAH), or "Really Hot Place Containing Naked People" is a Finnish invention that many nations (i.e. Russia) falsely claim to have invented (See liar),[1] It was first recorded in the year 1050 B.C (Before cookies) by the Sosumi people in the Arctic Circle as a range of sounds to use everytime they hooked in a seal for dinner. (more...)

Did you know ...

... that the Wizard of Oz was based on the author's experience in a runaway bouncy castle? (pictured)
... that resistance is futile, so you should calculate using impedance instead?
... that the chickens are finally coming home to roost, but roosters are too chicken to be coming home?
... that the sport of water polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
... the movie Snakes on a Plane only exists in your imagination?
- ... but you are mysteriously still out the cost of the movie plus parking?
... that the answer is Colonel Mustard in the drawing room with a candlestick?
... that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you?

Archive – Suggest new entries

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On this day

April 18: Dependence Day (Canada), International Throw a Baby in the Canal Day

4105 BCE - In order to save him from the pharaoh's execution order, Moses's mother takes her son to Disneyland and drops him into the waters of the Splash Mountain log flume ride. His hair turns completely white. Pharaoh's soldiers pass him by as they think he is a tiny Indian yogi in a loincloth with a mystical 1000-yard stare.
1309 - This day also became National Rythym Day.
1310 - The first anniversary of National Rythym Day is henceforth paired with the World Miss Speling Contest.
1485 - A conductor accidentally gives his orchestra jazz band music. Hilarity ensues.
1524 - The world's first Spanish restaurant is founded by Hernán Cortéz in Tenochtitlan.
1948 - The League of Nations is dissolved and replaced by a simpler, easier-to-organize style tournament-format competition called the UN. Surprisingly, the Swedish are champions of the inaugural competition.
1958 - The Supreme Court of the United States bans poetry and evicts all known poets from the country.
1972 - First public toilet opens in Texas. Texans ignore this, and continue urinating in public.
1983 - A suicide plumber floods the United States embassy in Beirut, Lebanon.
1955 - Albert Einstein dies being struck by lightning while playing golf in North Carolina. God cannot be blamed as He was playing dice at the time.
1990 - United States Re-Endangerment Day is the first U.S. national holiday created in honor of rednecks and their contributions to American culture.
2002 - The internet is officially declared "useless and beyond redemption" by the Norwegian military.
2006 - Captain Obvious says you're reading this.

Today's featured picture

Mr. T is a beacon of hope in our cold and dark world.

Image credit: RadicalX

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